I need to get this out, so I can move on. I need to let this out of my soul, so I can stop dwelling on it and start breathing. I need to share this with you, because I don’t think I’m the only one. And then, then I need to focus on the positive.
I’m disappointed. I’m fucking disappointed. Am I disappointed in you? No, it’s doubtful. If you’re reading this you’re probably just like me. The people I’m disappointed in won’t read this because they’re too wrapped up in their own bullshit to get down to this level. I’m sorry. I’m just really disappointed, and it’s coming out in foul language and anger. But really, really, overall, it’s sadness. Disappointment.
I try not to set a lot of expectations on those around me (hahaha!) because I don’t like to be let down. I try to do everything myself and not depend on other people. Because I don’t like to be down. I try to keep my word (as best I can) and do what I say I’m going to do. So I don’t let people down. I practice this with my children, my artists, my friends, my staff, my coworkers in life, my partners. I communicate. And even if I can’t tell them what they want to hear . . . I work on helping them understand . . . I tell them I’m here for them and that WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS. We will Gather again. That’s all I want. Reassurance. Maybe some accountability.
Covid 19 is beyond what any of us could have ever imagined it would be. It’s taking countless lives of all ages, genders, socio-economic statuses, religions, races . . . It’s shutting down small businesses left and right. It’s taking away life as we know it. And I keep reading from people (myself included) that maybe, just maybe, after all this is over, we’ll LEARN from it, and start a NEW way of life that’s better, more connected, more real, more intentional. I hope so.
I know it will be for me. Because, after this. I know who to trust. I know who to count on. I can count on you.
I can count on my family.
I can count on my friends.
I can count on my customers.
I can count on my small business brothers, sisters and allies.
And really, all of these are one in the same.
The buck stops there. They keep saying we’re all this together, but I see you. We are all in this together, but . . . well, some of us aren’t. And I see you. And I will remember that.
Clearly I’m being cryptic here and I apologize for that. I’m not here to call out specifics. I just needed to get that anger out. And I’m sure you’re angry too. And disappointed. And now, it’s out of my body, and I can focus on something good.
Today I’m going to focus on the fact that I spent my morning writing up a working school schedule for my kiddos and then took a shower, and promptly put clean pj’s back on. I call that a win.